It Will Get Hard Before It Gets Easy

One day, I was having a horrible day, for reasons I will not post for the whole world wide web to see. I felt stupid and ignorant and useless. And the worst thing was that it was because I did what I thought God was telling me to do.

“Arg!” I yelled and punched my pillow, tears flowing. “God, I know you told me to do this, but why is it causing so much pain? Did I do something wrong? Did I misinterpret? Why didn’t you warn me!” I collapsed and wept.

Then I remember reading my friend, jelillie’s blog, You Choose the View. (http://jelillie.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/you-choose-the-view/) It really spoke to me at the time, and it spoke to me again that day.

Out of all places in my house, I found myself in the bathroom at the moment.

“What do you see?” God said.

I looked in front of me. There was my old, rusty closet with a mop and bucket to it’s sides.

“An old, forgotten closet.” I said.

“Open it.”

I reached out and pulled on the knob. The white doors folded together, and it began to open. I began to see the messy inside with the most important paper and towels.

Then the door stopped.

You see, the closet is pretty old and cheep. So when it was almost fully open, the door got stuck on something wedged inside the little metal thingy (yes, thingy) it slides in. I had to push against the door to get inside. Just to reach a mess.

“It’s going to get harder before it gets easier.” God said. “And once your inside, you’ll come across many messes and junk that you’re going to have to let Me take care of.”

After all, doesn’t Mandisa’s Stronger say the same thing? Or Laura Story’s Blessings? A rainbow after a storm? The sun will come out tomorrow? Seriously, Lillian, why didn’t you see this before?

So what am I saying?

I’m not giving up. God told me to do this.

Pray for me please

God bless!

PS: Check out what else I wrote about this-http://www.wattpad.com/2022366-being-real